Sunrise and Sunsets

I had a weird dream during my nap. I’ll just tell u a bit of it!Well… we went to war. I arrived there after it ended n i remember being covered in pins all over…like the ones for sewing with the round head- AH! Jarum peniti ..

All over i looked kinda like a porcuppine. Anyway, we took the bus home n we arrived in sri subang. (dun ask why!) We were overjoyed that we survived the war. I remember racing down the cement stairs, pulling of my pins and throwing them aside!Angeline (XD She was in my dream!) ran down too and someone told me while we ran down ‘ How great it is to be  survivor of the war, a champion’. I told myself as i raced down the stairs that this feeling of being a champion cus i survived the war is great. i’m thankful to be alive! (sumtin like dat)

     I ran all the way to the last stair and there was a road. Angeline ran to her transport, throwing or dropping a piece of bread with blueberry jam unto the floor. I thought what a waste to myself!She just jumped n ran…so happy to have reached home. I waited around the school. Some very special people died in the war. Ji Ming was there too!He survived. In my dream he was talking to someone and putting on his backpack, getting ready to go home. In my dream I thought he was my biological brother =S and asked him a question. (shall not tell u… a very sad quest T-T) n he pulled me to one side telling me sumting sad as well bout the war. He didn’t seem to acknowledge that i was related to him so i guess we were not related after all in the dream lol.He then said his twin brothers won’t understand.I felt sad n down- then suddenly i was writting on a piece of paper what i was suppose to say to him.It turns out that in this dream i was actually writting a story for english and imagining it happen. Then back to sri subang. People were talking on topics they wrote on in ‘camp’. The dream turned confusing XD and I woke up!It was 5.30 + and gong to rain heavily.

Recently I’ve been having quite a number of dreams involving my friends… hm….

I got an amazing oppurtunity to sword fight!doing a sketch for taekwando installation dinner night ting so we made up a story for the sketch:

There was a kingdom.

A king had a pair of twins.

One was REALLY tall.

unfortunateli the king hates ppol taller then him.

He told the eldest tall twin:

You are too tall to even walk in the palace

and enter the door

or even sit on the throne

How do u expect to take my place?

So the king disowned him.

tall evil twin is called Kommonded (edmond mok=p)

evil twin is angry n wants kingdom

capture younger twin who was with princess

princes says where art thou my fair prince?

she travels through wind n rain to find him

arrives at kommonded’s castle

defeats palace guard wif a wooden katana

gets injured

frees prince

prince now fights with his evil twin

evil twin dies

princess who got injured dies

      ~THE END~

=.= anyway my role is the good prince n i have to defeat edmond!that day during practice he accidentally hit my head wif the heavy hard wooden katana which hurt so bad!but its almos recovered now hehe. We had so much fun n Akmal the pro director gave chunted comments to improve lol. all our sword moves were so fake!its my mum’s foldable taichi sword vs wooden katana… the taichi sword got dented =X. i also get to fight with edmond tae. style!its really fun! i get to elbow him in his face n he’s REALLY almos too tall for me to REACH LOL.so u can practically imagine me trying to elbow as high as i can n if i cant reach i’d have to hop a lil lol.

I love martial arts man… i tink i wna start a collection of jap swords n put em on the wall =D

I finally managed to sparr wif benjamin!!!!!lol promised him loong time ago that i would once i reach green belt but now im blue junior =p.

He definitely gave me lotsa chances cus he didnt hit me at all. This sparr was actuali jus frendli one (duh) n since he being a guy n all he dun wna bully me lol.

We sparred in the canteen before afternoon session recess n thank goodness the teachers didn’t make any noise XD. Must have looked like it was a REALgangster fite..unlike those roll on the floor n bash each other up softly type =p.I accidently kicked him but softly of corse on his head kwa… 0_0

It’s really really cool experience~!Kick boxing is more practical though n aniway my reflexes r too slow to avoid fast enough.He even taught me basic kick boxing.. yay!

I wana sparr wif ya again ben!

I finally managed to sparr wif benjamin!!!!!lol promised him loong time ago that i would once i reach green belt but now im blue junior =p.

He definitely gave me lotsa chances cus he didnt hit me at all. This sparr was actuali jus frendli one (duh) n since he being a guy n all he dun wna bully me lol.

We sparred in the canteen before afternoon session recess n thank goodness the teachers didn’t make any noise XD. Must have looked like it was a REALgangster fite..unlike those roll on the floor n bash each other up softly type =p.I accidently kicked him but softly of corse on his head kwa… 0_0

It’s really really cool experience~!Kick boxing is more practical though n aniway my reflexes r too slow to avoid fast enough.He even taught me basic kick boxing.. yay!

I wana sparr wif ya again ben!

Guess I’ve learnt that you shouldn’t set too high expectations of your friends. Very often, when they don’t fulfill it you’ll tend to think of em as lousy friends or friends that don’t really care bout you.

I think not everyone can be the ‘perfect’ friend as they often make mistakes and hurt you, realising it or not. I’ve felt so down recently n even asking my friend for help. What really disappointed me was that my friend didn’t seem to care much, not asking if I’m okay or even praying for me.. just telling me to ask for advice from someone else cause my friend couldn’t really advice me with what I was facing.I felt so sad and wondered if I even mean anything to my friend.

Then I started getting angry at my friend, not talking friendlyly for bout 3 days. My friend asked on the phone that I have something against her/him. (dun wna reveal identity) and I told my friend rudely that I do.Expecting any sms or sumting for further questions like what did i do wrong or sumting like that, none came. In school my friend would act like nothing happened and did not even talked to me.

This made me upset… but I just felt the Lord asking me to forgive my friend and let it go. Today, I finally wrote a letter of apology stating that my problem is I expect too much from people which at times I do.Still haven’t talked to my friend and I’d just walk away.

It still kinda hurts me that it seems I mean nothing much to someone who is special to me. It’s like I can never get close to that friend of mine although she/he helped me before.We don’t even chat much really.. but I’ll just be looking frm a distance smiling at this friend of mine growing.I can feel like my friend is putting up some barrier around, not wanting to get close too easily for some particular reasons. Of course I may be wrong.

Maybe it’s time to further accept people although they may not live up to your expectations. Friends, best friends, close friends and whatever friends are bound to hurt you especially when you both get closer.Forgive them and just let that disappointment go. Until now I can still say that I havent fully let go and I wanna keep a distance between my friend n i.

It hurts most when the person you asked for help from does not help you. As days past by you’d just wonder if anyone actually cares.

I can’t live through this life alone. I need help but it takes me so long to get the courage to just ask someone to help and reveal problems to them.When I do they let me down.again n again n again.maybe they’re to busy to care anyway.

You’d get crushed n crushed till u dunt wna live animore.

Why am I still standing..eventhough i fall down too often. I believe its the Lord who holds my fragile self together.. is it meant to be that nobody would care?In dark times I am desperate to hear anione just encourage n comfort me.I’m on the edge of giving up hope. Why do all abandon me. The people I wna trust… the people i long so much to help me. they who i thought would care n just help me through. Maybe im just expecting too much.

im so touched…my frens realli surprised me for my birthday!yesterday was a day out wif my old gang..just wanted to spend sum time we’ve not spent enough wif.

Angeline, Ann Ee, Inez, Kimberly and I went out to taipan.. shopping lol. we went to a pet shop n saw realli cute dogs n cats! a cat was on the rocking horse….awwww!Then we visited the Gray.we grabbed so many clothes n tried em on…. ann ee veli d skinny. hehe….dis angeline n inez didnt come out in their clothes…so we culdnt see ceh. Angeline was so excited over Inez’s stripped erhm swt =.="?"guess dey forgot the dressing room aint sound proof. we didnt buy aniting…after trying like more then 4 garments per person excep for kim =(.poor shop assistants!we visited  a few more shops n den walked home.i was feeling reali down but they surprised me wif a cake at home…i felt soo touched! my sis helped transport the cake.. a baker’s cottage cake =D. i blew the candles n made my wish which i cant tell yall or else *it wont come true* hahax.we spent the rest of the day camsterring!ange wore my cheongsam n i put opera make up wif BRIGHT RED lipstik on her. thks for allowin me ange! Inez wore my brown dress…i make her up like a faerie!so prettty… here r sum pics:

The next day which is today…i got a huge surprise at church! We (the youth) got to skip part of main service for some particular reason…we spent the time chattin in youth hall. suddenli my fren wanted to tok wif me alone..she n i walked off. then we walked to the bball court bside the youth hall n i shot sum hoops lol in skirt n heels =.=’. my fren, zhi ning bugged me to go so i did n out came running yen yi wif a manila crown…she told me to put it on. i tot it was just for fun =S.. then i went to the hall n there was a bday cake there!choc indulgence lol…i was so touched n they started singin happy birthday. they forgot match stix (a common mistake lol) so there was one candle there wif imaginary flame~ they told me to blow it n i blew a couple of times…n had to pose as instructed for the cams lol!Sue Mae planned this… thx so much all of ya!Yen yi made the crown which said Princess of The Day its cute!until john yen threw a disgusting wet sponge that has been in church for yrs…. wetting me n part of the crown lol.

My mum gave me lip ice lip balm…strawberry flavoured too! =D

Don’t kill me..but my mum, ling si n i went out for bak kut teh!!!!!!!!! den…went home…had nap…n STUDY ADD MATHS….

Oh well you cant run away eventhough it’s ur bday in form4 hahax.

Thanks you guys who have put effort for my bday… i feel so touched to noe that im at least significant in other’s lives…!I felt so down n y’all have cheered me up. I tink the LORD has given me my bday present: By showing me I have true frens n that im not meaningless in this world..

I love u ann ee… no matter wat the LORD’s will is…remember dat if i cant be wif u physically…ur still always in my heart forever. thanks for being a true fren…one in a million.

Thanks JESUS for evritin!!!!!!!!!!!!!